So, I'm struggling right now. I'm having a super hard time getting focused, staying within my points and exercising consistently. When I wrote that short little 'more coming' post, things were going really well. But for the last little while, they haven't been. I'm constantly feeling discouraged and incapable. I am terrible with negative self-talk, and I've convinced myself that I can't do this. That I have too far to go, and that it's just not going to happen. Ugh.
I decided to stop going to WW and stop weighing myself. I was becoming obsessed with how much farther along I should be in this journey, and making all decisions based on the scale. If I was going to have a bad day, it was out of control. Good day, extreme perfect. I wasn't even being really honest on the blog I don't think b/c it's embarrassing---I started this blog to share my journey with others, and in my head that looked like me rapidly losing weight and succeeding. It's not looking the way I want it to, so I want to stop. And I know I can't (stop). I know I probably won't (stop). That I'm going to keep going and eventually all this weight will be gone....but right now, I just suck. And I wish I didn't have to write it, and I wish it wasn't happening. I probably won't post for awhile b/c I need to figure some stuff out.
Thanks so much for reading and encouraging me, it really does mean a lot. If I start blogging again, I'll let you know:)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Making Some Changes
Hey! I'm feeling too wiped to post right now, but don't give up on me:) Check back later in the week---I've got lots of blogging to do about a change in perspective, some good lessons I've learned, and a big change I'm making in my weight loss strategy.
Hope you're all well!
Hope you're all well!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Meh...
So, as far as weight loss goes---last week was meh, and the last three days, TERRIBLE!:) We were camping, and all resolve went out the window! There were bacon, eggs, s'mores, donuts, restaurants, juice, chips, and the list goes on! So, I'm thinking getting down to 40 lbs off now in the next TWO weeks isn't going to happen, but I can still get close! I'm back on track today, just finished my bowl of oatmeal, and I'm planning on working out tonight. I want to have 2 really great weeks and at least meet a goal I set awhile ago, to be down to 215 by July 4th--I can do that if I'm diligent! I'll post at the end of this week and let you know how it goes!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I've Got Good News and Bad News...
And I'll start with the good. Well, it's actually not good, it's GREAT NEWS!!! I lost SIX POUNDS!!! It's a 2 week loss because I didn't weigh in last week, but still, SIX!!! That loss took me to 2 big goals:
1. I've passed the 30 lb mark!! I've officially lost 32.8 pounds!!!
2. I broke through the 20's---I now weigh 219.6! This was my big weight goal for the week that I didn't want to share, and I did it!!
I'm so excited, this weigh in and meeting (where I got awarded my 30 lb sticker and everyone clapped for me:) Yay me--recognition motivates me:) have just catapulted me into being motivated to hit more milestones quickly! My next big goal is to lose 7.2 lbs in the next three weeks to hit that 40 mark! I know I can do it, I just have to stay on track!
So now, for the bad news. I have to stop running:( I'm so frustrated and upset over this. Last year I had a stress fracture in my left shin and had to stop running, and then I found out I was pregnant, and b/c I was so sick and exhausted, would've had to stop anyways. So I basically avoided all high impact or repetitive activities for over a year. But still, in the last two weeks, my left shin has become so painful, I could barely walk at times:( I wanted to just push through and keep running, but a good friend pointed out how ridiculous it was to do permanent damage just because I had set running goals. So right now, I'm stopping. But I'm definitely not happy about it:( It makes me a little nervous about future weight loss (and meeting that 40 lb goal so soon), just because I know that the running really kicked it into high gear. My leg was fine for awhile, and other high impact activities didn't bother it, it was just the repetitive impact of running I think that really did damage. So right now, I'm going to take a week off from all impact activities (including walking) b/c even casual walking causes me pain right now. I'm going to concentrate on abs and weights this week, and then try more activity next week.
I've had to change my workout plan drastically, and I'm hoping I'll still get great results. Starting next week, my plan is:
3 days a week, 5K walk
3 days a week, a workout video that involves weights and cardio or circuit training of some kind
6 days a week, Abs (my big push to do abs is my back pain right now, I'm counting on strengthening those muscles to alleviate some of the pain I'm dealing with 24 hrs a day!)
Last week was a so-so week food wise, and I'm actually surprised I lost so much weight! I was a bit off track as far as my 2 food changes (no eating after 7 and a big salad every day) so this week that's my main focus. Because I have to step back from working out, I'm going to have to be extra careful where food is concerned. I also want to be more consistent with my water intake. I'm generally really good at drinking lots of water, but I've been really sporadic about it lately. So, 10 glasses a day minimum is my plan---and hopefully more since I'm breastfeeding.
We're going away for the weekend, camping in Grand Marais! Should be a super fun time, we're going with two other families for the Wooden Boat Festival. It'll be interesting to see how the kids do camping:) So, I won't be weighing in this week, but my goal is still to lose at least 2 lbs to keep me on track for my 3 week goal (remember, lesson learned---no weigh in doesn't have to mean no weight lost!:).
Have a great week everyone! I'll still post next week to stay accountable!
1. I've passed the 30 lb mark!! I've officially lost 32.8 pounds!!!
2. I broke through the 20's---I now weigh 219.6! This was my big weight goal for the week that I didn't want to share, and I did it!!
I'm so excited, this weigh in and meeting (where I got awarded my 30 lb sticker and everyone clapped for me:) Yay me--recognition motivates me:) have just catapulted me into being motivated to hit more milestones quickly! My next big goal is to lose 7.2 lbs in the next three weeks to hit that 40 mark! I know I can do it, I just have to stay on track!
So now, for the bad news. I have to stop running:( I'm so frustrated and upset over this. Last year I had a stress fracture in my left shin and had to stop running, and then I found out I was pregnant, and b/c I was so sick and exhausted, would've had to stop anyways. So I basically avoided all high impact or repetitive activities for over a year. But still, in the last two weeks, my left shin has become so painful, I could barely walk at times:( I wanted to just push through and keep running, but a good friend pointed out how ridiculous it was to do permanent damage just because I had set running goals. So right now, I'm stopping. But I'm definitely not happy about it:( It makes me a little nervous about future weight loss (and meeting that 40 lb goal so soon), just because I know that the running really kicked it into high gear. My leg was fine for awhile, and other high impact activities didn't bother it, it was just the repetitive impact of running I think that really did damage. So right now, I'm going to take a week off from all impact activities (including walking) b/c even casual walking causes me pain right now. I'm going to concentrate on abs and weights this week, and then try more activity next week.
I've had to change my workout plan drastically, and I'm hoping I'll still get great results. Starting next week, my plan is:
3 days a week, 5K walk
3 days a week, a workout video that involves weights and cardio or circuit training of some kind
6 days a week, Abs (my big push to do abs is my back pain right now, I'm counting on strengthening those muscles to alleviate some of the pain I'm dealing with 24 hrs a day!)
Last week was a so-so week food wise, and I'm actually surprised I lost so much weight! I was a bit off track as far as my 2 food changes (no eating after 7 and a big salad every day) so this week that's my main focus. Because I have to step back from working out, I'm going to have to be extra careful where food is concerned. I also want to be more consistent with my water intake. I'm generally really good at drinking lots of water, but I've been really sporadic about it lately. So, 10 glasses a day minimum is my plan---and hopefully more since I'm breastfeeding.
We're going away for the weekend, camping in Grand Marais! Should be a super fun time, we're going with two other families for the Wooden Boat Festival. It'll be interesting to see how the kids do camping:) So, I won't be weighing in this week, but my goal is still to lose at least 2 lbs to keep me on track for my 3 week goal (remember, lesson learned---no weigh in doesn't have to mean no weight lost!:).
Have a great week everyone! I'll still post next week to stay accountable!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Week In Review
Ok, some good lessons learned this week that are really going to help me going forward:) I haven't posted an actual weight update in awhile, I'm sorry for that. I was absolutely planning on going to my weigh-in on Saturday, especially because when I stepped on my own scale I was down about 3 pounds! But, we got invited to our wonderful friends' house for breakfast and stayed for 5 hours:)!!! We had a super fun morning with them, and there's no way I'm going to let a number on the scale interfere with my friendships:) The big positive for me was that I found out Friday night that I was going to miss my weigh-in, and I STILL went for a run, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do and it almost killed me! That's a huge step in the right direction for me, a couple weeks before, I would have thought, 'yay! No weigh-in, that means I can eat whatever I want, scrap exercise, and make up for it next week!!!' So I'm happy that I've realized that my WW weigh-ins aren't the only gauges of weight loss, ACTUAL WEIGHT LOSS IS!!! HELLO ME!!! The reason I haven't lost weight for two months is b/c I've been totally focused on my WW weigh-ins, and b/c I've had to miss so many, I just want to make sure I'm ok for when I step on that scale. Lesson #1 LEARNED:)
Lesson #2: Life (especially one with children) calls for compromise and adjustments constantly.
I'm going to do a little run down of what my week SHOULD have, DID, and COULD have looked like:
Should Have:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
Did:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-5k walk, Abs
Wednesday-Rest
Thursday-Run, Weights
Friday-Run
Saturday-Rest
Sunday-Rest
Could Have (if I had just let things happen, not tried to make things work, and only worked out when I really felt like it)
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-rest
Wednesday-rest
Thursday-rest
Friday-rest
Saturday-rest
Sunday-Rest
So, you get the picture:) I was a little disappointed at first looking at the comparison between what it was supposed to look like and actually did, until I really studied my week (which was jam-packed and quite sleep deprived) and realized how well I really did! I'm very encouraged that I ran as many times as I did, and I think even more encouraged that I did it when I really didn't want to. Sheena and I run at about 9pm, just when the full weight of not sleeping much at night and a busy day with lots of kids hits me---so to go three nights was great!
Lesson #3: Nothing is set in stone. Just because I set a goal, doesn't mean I'm a failure if I realize that it's not within my reach and I need to make an adjustment. Such as aiming to run 4 5K's a week---TOO MUCH! I haven't run in a long time, 3 times a week plus one 5k walk in a week is sufficient. Along with some weights and abs thrown in, it's definitely going to move me towards where I want to be!
So, for this week ahead, my 'change' is actually going to be just focusing on the 3 I've already made: No eating after 7 pm, a big salad every day (not necessarily for lunch anymore, just have to get it in!) and solidifying my week of workouts. This is the plan:
Monday-Run, Abs
Tuesday-Walk, Abs, Weights
Wednesday-Run, Abs
Thursday-30 Day Shred
Friday-Run, Abs
Saturday-Abs, Weights
Sunday-Rest
It's all about figuring out what works for me, and how I can reach my goals in a way that fits my lifestyle. We'll see how this schedule goes! I'm looking forward to posting an official weight loss post this coming Saturday, it's been too long! I have a number goal I'm aiming for this week, but I'm going to keep it to myself for now! Have a great week everyone:) (see below for some lovely before pictures;) EDIT--I'm having some technical difficulties, I really do have pictures, they just won't upload! Soon, soon:)
Lesson #2: Life (especially one with children) calls for compromise and adjustments constantly.
I'm going to do a little run down of what my week SHOULD have, DID, and COULD have looked like:
Should Have:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
Did:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-5k walk, Abs
Wednesday-Rest
Thursday-Run, Weights
Friday-Run
Saturday-Rest
Sunday-Rest
Could Have (if I had just let things happen, not tried to make things work, and only worked out when I really felt like it)
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-rest
Wednesday-rest
Thursday-rest
Friday-rest
Saturday-rest
Sunday-Rest
So, you get the picture:) I was a little disappointed at first looking at the comparison between what it was supposed to look like and actually did, until I really studied my week (which was jam-packed and quite sleep deprived) and realized how well I really did! I'm very encouraged that I ran as many times as I did, and I think even more encouraged that I did it when I really didn't want to. Sheena and I run at about 9pm, just when the full weight of not sleeping much at night and a busy day with lots of kids hits me---so to go three nights was great!
Lesson #3: Nothing is set in stone. Just because I set a goal, doesn't mean I'm a failure if I realize that it's not within my reach and I need to make an adjustment. Such as aiming to run 4 5K's a week---TOO MUCH! I haven't run in a long time, 3 times a week plus one 5k walk in a week is sufficient. Along with some weights and abs thrown in, it's definitely going to move me towards where I want to be!
So, for this week ahead, my 'change' is actually going to be just focusing on the 3 I've already made: No eating after 7 pm, a big salad every day (not necessarily for lunch anymore, just have to get it in!) and solidifying my week of workouts. This is the plan:
Monday-Run, Abs
Tuesday-Walk, Abs, Weights
Wednesday-Run, Abs
Thursday-30 Day Shred
Friday-Run, Abs
Saturday-Abs, Weights
Sunday-Rest
It's all about figuring out what works for me, and how I can reach my goals in a way that fits my lifestyle. We'll see how this schedule goes! I'm looking forward to posting an official weight loss post this coming Saturday, it's been too long! I have a number goal I'm aiming for this week, but I'm going to keep it to myself for now! Have a great week everyone:) (see below for some lovely before pictures;) EDIT--I'm having some technical difficulties, I really do have pictures, they just won't upload! Soon, soon:)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Pictures Coming Soon!!!
This blog has been noticeably picture-less, and I have mentioned a few times the dreaded 'before' picture. Well, I finally took them and it was um, humbling? Horrifying? Well, no not that bad, but definitely motivating:) So those are coming soon---this week, I PROMISE!!! (Like you're dying to see me wearing some workout clothes to really show off what lies ahead:)
I had a FABULOUS week! I ran 3 times, and then chose to do a full 5k walk for my 4th workout, because, well, let's face it--I haven't worked out in over a year (really hard) and it might be a bit much to run 20k my first week:) I've been running with my friend Sheena, and with me sweet iTunes, and it's been awesome! I look forward to going, it's my 'me' time:) Friday night it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do though, and I almost called Sheena to cancel a few times. But that's the beauty of a workout partner...I didn't want to let her down, so we ended up going, and it was a great run! We're both really surprised by how well it's going in the first week, and we're looking forward to seeing our progress!
I'm going to Wpg. in July, and my friend Patti-Ann has offered to run a distance goal with me, so thank you P.A.!!! I now have a definitive date that I want to be trained for that's close enough to be really motivating. We're going to run a 5k.
I want to measure my progress, along with the before pictures and measurements, so here are some stats I'll be updating every month-ish:
Running: About 5 minutes continuously (I know, you're probably thinking, 'What?!? you're impressed by that?!?!?---but we do that with short walks in between for a full 5k...remember, no exercise for over a year:)!!!
Planks: Can hold for 10 seconds
Crunches: 25 without stopping
Push-ups: 10, on knees
As much as I'm excited about losing weight, I'm as equally excited about getting in great shape again! Running has really reminded me what my body is capable of and how strong and healthy I feel when working out!
I ate a big salad every day last week, and still am not eating after 7 pm. My change this week is to have a firm workout schedule.
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
It might be too much for me, so it's going to be my goal and I will make adjustments based on how my body is feeling. One thing I have to remind myself of is that just because the goal is set, it's still ok to change it to avoid over-training and injury:)
And just because I'm so excited about my iTunes (it's amazing how much of a difference having good music makes!), my song pick for this past week was 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce---that song helped me make it up multiple hills:)!
Have a great week everyone!
I had a FABULOUS week! I ran 3 times, and then chose to do a full 5k walk for my 4th workout, because, well, let's face it--I haven't worked out in over a year (really hard) and it might be a bit much to run 20k my first week:) I've been running with my friend Sheena, and with me sweet iTunes, and it's been awesome! I look forward to going, it's my 'me' time:) Friday night it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do though, and I almost called Sheena to cancel a few times. But that's the beauty of a workout partner...I didn't want to let her down, so we ended up going, and it was a great run! We're both really surprised by how well it's going in the first week, and we're looking forward to seeing our progress!
I'm going to Wpg. in July, and my friend Patti-Ann has offered to run a distance goal with me, so thank you P.A.!!! I now have a definitive date that I want to be trained for that's close enough to be really motivating. We're going to run a 5k.
I want to measure my progress, along with the before pictures and measurements, so here are some stats I'll be updating every month-ish:
Running: About 5 minutes continuously (I know, you're probably thinking, 'What?!? you're impressed by that?!?!?---but we do that with short walks in between for a full 5k...remember, no exercise for over a year:)!!!
Planks: Can hold for 10 seconds
Crunches: 25 without stopping
Push-ups: 10, on knees
As much as I'm excited about losing weight, I'm as equally excited about getting in great shape again! Running has really reminded me what my body is capable of and how strong and healthy I feel when working out!
I ate a big salad every day last week, and still am not eating after 7 pm. My change this week is to have a firm workout schedule.
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
It might be too much for me, so it's going to be my goal and I will make adjustments based on how my body is feeling. One thing I have to remind myself of is that just because the goal is set, it's still ok to change it to avoid over-training and injury:)
And just because I'm so excited about my iTunes (it's amazing how much of a difference having good music makes!), my song pick for this past week was 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce---that song helped me make it up multiple hills:)!
Have a great week everyone!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Excited:)!
I'm excited because my sister gave me an iTunes gift card for my birthday, and my ipod is loaded and ready for my run!!! I'm running FOUR times this week, so I'm so happy to have some great music to motivate me and get me on my way!
New habit 1 is sticking, no eating after 7pm. New habit 2 will be implemented this week: A big salad for lunch every day. I'm sure some of you reading this that's so incredibly BORING...but I am a creature of habit and routine, and I almost never get bored. Eating the same thing, at the same time day in and day out is the key to my success! When I look back on losing my weight after Kallie was born, I can probably list about 4 foods that I ate for breakfast and lunch...and it worked! (Actually, it was only ever 1 thing for breakfast--mini wheats--and I ate them for about 3 years straight, just changing it up now:) I am my father's daughter:)
So, a big salad every day for lunch, along with no eating after 7. Lyndon and I are both trying to eat as clean as possible (unprocessed, whole foods) and up our fruit and especially veggie intake. He's doing the salad thing too, so this should help us both reach those goals!:)
Basketball as my background for my ticker---the reason? I miss who I used to be. Gaining all this weight, has taken me away. I know our society often paints this picture of women 'losing themselves' in marriage and motherhood, but for me, I feel like I am the BEST me in both of those roles...wife and mom:) Except, I can't truly be the best me, b/c so many of the things I love to do are gone...because I'm fat. I am an athlete. I was an athlete, and a good one, my whole life. Until 21. And then I gained tons of weight, and I lost that part of myself. It just occurred to me recently, that people who have met me in the last 6 years (that's right, SIX years I have been overweight! Almost all of my twenties...we'll save the reflection for another post!) would never know that I am an athlete. And that makes me sad:( There are many other parts of myself that I've lost because of my weight gain, but for now, basketball will be the symbol and reminder of them...and motivate me to get the 'old me' back!! I'm looking forward to this week and to posting about how it goes!:)
See you in a week-ish!:)
New habit 1 is sticking, no eating after 7pm. New habit 2 will be implemented this week: A big salad for lunch every day. I'm sure some of you reading this that's so incredibly BORING...but I am a creature of habit and routine, and I almost never get bored. Eating the same thing, at the same time day in and day out is the key to my success! When I look back on losing my weight after Kallie was born, I can probably list about 4 foods that I ate for breakfast and lunch...and it worked! (Actually, it was only ever 1 thing for breakfast--mini wheats--and I ate them for about 3 years straight, just changing it up now:) I am my father's daughter:)
So, a big salad every day for lunch, along with no eating after 7. Lyndon and I are both trying to eat as clean as possible (unprocessed, whole foods) and up our fruit and especially veggie intake. He's doing the salad thing too, so this should help us both reach those goals!:)
Basketball as my background for my ticker---the reason? I miss who I used to be. Gaining all this weight, has taken me away. I know our society often paints this picture of women 'losing themselves' in marriage and motherhood, but for me, I feel like I am the BEST me in both of those roles...wife and mom:) Except, I can't truly be the best me, b/c so many of the things I love to do are gone...because I'm fat. I am an athlete. I was an athlete, and a good one, my whole life. Until 21. And then I gained tons of weight, and I lost that part of myself. It just occurred to me recently, that people who have met me in the last 6 years (that's right, SIX years I have been overweight! Almost all of my twenties...we'll save the reflection for another post!) would never know that I am an athlete. And that makes me sad:( There are many other parts of myself that I've lost because of my weight gain, but for now, basketball will be the symbol and reminder of them...and motivate me to get the 'old me' back!! I'm looking forward to this week and to posting about how it goes!:)
See you in a week-ish!:)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)