So, I'm struggling right now. I'm having a super hard time getting focused, staying within my points and exercising consistently. When I wrote that short little 'more coming' post, things were going really well. But for the last little while, they haven't been. I'm constantly feeling discouraged and incapable. I am terrible with negative self-talk, and I've convinced myself that I can't do this. That I have too far to go, and that it's just not going to happen. Ugh.
I decided to stop going to WW and stop weighing myself. I was becoming obsessed with how much farther along I should be in this journey, and making all decisions based on the scale. If I was going to have a bad day, it was out of control. Good day, extreme perfect. I wasn't even being really honest on the blog I don't think b/c it's embarrassing---I started this blog to share my journey with others, and in my head that looked like me rapidly losing weight and succeeding. It's not looking the way I want it to, so I want to stop. And I know I can't (stop). I know I probably won't (stop). That I'm going to keep going and eventually all this weight will be gone....but right now, I just suck. And I wish I didn't have to write it, and I wish it wasn't happening. I probably won't post for awhile b/c I need to figure some stuff out.
Thanks so much for reading and encouraging me, it really does mean a lot. If I start blogging again, I'll let you know:)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Making Some Changes
Hey! I'm feeling too wiped to post right now, but don't give up on me:) Check back later in the week---I've got lots of blogging to do about a change in perspective, some good lessons I've learned, and a big change I'm making in my weight loss strategy.
Hope you're all well!
Hope you're all well!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Meh...
So, as far as weight loss goes---last week was meh, and the last three days, TERRIBLE!:) We were camping, and all resolve went out the window! There were bacon, eggs, s'mores, donuts, restaurants, juice, chips, and the list goes on! So, I'm thinking getting down to 40 lbs off now in the next TWO weeks isn't going to happen, but I can still get close! I'm back on track today, just finished my bowl of oatmeal, and I'm planning on working out tonight. I want to have 2 really great weeks and at least meet a goal I set awhile ago, to be down to 215 by July 4th--I can do that if I'm diligent! I'll post at the end of this week and let you know how it goes!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I've Got Good News and Bad News...
And I'll start with the good. Well, it's actually not good, it's GREAT NEWS!!! I lost SIX POUNDS!!! It's a 2 week loss because I didn't weigh in last week, but still, SIX!!! That loss took me to 2 big goals:
1. I've passed the 30 lb mark!! I've officially lost 32.8 pounds!!!
2. I broke through the 20's---I now weigh 219.6! This was my big weight goal for the week that I didn't want to share, and I did it!!
I'm so excited, this weigh in and meeting (where I got awarded my 30 lb sticker and everyone clapped for me:) Yay me--recognition motivates me:) have just catapulted me into being motivated to hit more milestones quickly! My next big goal is to lose 7.2 lbs in the next three weeks to hit that 40 mark! I know I can do it, I just have to stay on track!
So now, for the bad news. I have to stop running:( I'm so frustrated and upset over this. Last year I had a stress fracture in my left shin and had to stop running, and then I found out I was pregnant, and b/c I was so sick and exhausted, would've had to stop anyways. So I basically avoided all high impact or repetitive activities for over a year. But still, in the last two weeks, my left shin has become so painful, I could barely walk at times:( I wanted to just push through and keep running, but a good friend pointed out how ridiculous it was to do permanent damage just because I had set running goals. So right now, I'm stopping. But I'm definitely not happy about it:( It makes me a little nervous about future weight loss (and meeting that 40 lb goal so soon), just because I know that the running really kicked it into high gear. My leg was fine for awhile, and other high impact activities didn't bother it, it was just the repetitive impact of running I think that really did damage. So right now, I'm going to take a week off from all impact activities (including walking) b/c even casual walking causes me pain right now. I'm going to concentrate on abs and weights this week, and then try more activity next week.
I've had to change my workout plan drastically, and I'm hoping I'll still get great results. Starting next week, my plan is:
3 days a week, 5K walk
3 days a week, a workout video that involves weights and cardio or circuit training of some kind
6 days a week, Abs (my big push to do abs is my back pain right now, I'm counting on strengthening those muscles to alleviate some of the pain I'm dealing with 24 hrs a day!)
Last week was a so-so week food wise, and I'm actually surprised I lost so much weight! I was a bit off track as far as my 2 food changes (no eating after 7 and a big salad every day) so this week that's my main focus. Because I have to step back from working out, I'm going to have to be extra careful where food is concerned. I also want to be more consistent with my water intake. I'm generally really good at drinking lots of water, but I've been really sporadic about it lately. So, 10 glasses a day minimum is my plan---and hopefully more since I'm breastfeeding.
We're going away for the weekend, camping in Grand Marais! Should be a super fun time, we're going with two other families for the Wooden Boat Festival. It'll be interesting to see how the kids do camping:) So, I won't be weighing in this week, but my goal is still to lose at least 2 lbs to keep me on track for my 3 week goal (remember, lesson learned---no weigh in doesn't have to mean no weight lost!:).
Have a great week everyone! I'll still post next week to stay accountable!
1. I've passed the 30 lb mark!! I've officially lost 32.8 pounds!!!
2. I broke through the 20's---I now weigh 219.6! This was my big weight goal for the week that I didn't want to share, and I did it!!
I'm so excited, this weigh in and meeting (where I got awarded my 30 lb sticker and everyone clapped for me:) Yay me--recognition motivates me:) have just catapulted me into being motivated to hit more milestones quickly! My next big goal is to lose 7.2 lbs in the next three weeks to hit that 40 mark! I know I can do it, I just have to stay on track!
So now, for the bad news. I have to stop running:( I'm so frustrated and upset over this. Last year I had a stress fracture in my left shin and had to stop running, and then I found out I was pregnant, and b/c I was so sick and exhausted, would've had to stop anyways. So I basically avoided all high impact or repetitive activities for over a year. But still, in the last two weeks, my left shin has become so painful, I could barely walk at times:( I wanted to just push through and keep running, but a good friend pointed out how ridiculous it was to do permanent damage just because I had set running goals. So right now, I'm stopping. But I'm definitely not happy about it:( It makes me a little nervous about future weight loss (and meeting that 40 lb goal so soon), just because I know that the running really kicked it into high gear. My leg was fine for awhile, and other high impact activities didn't bother it, it was just the repetitive impact of running I think that really did damage. So right now, I'm going to take a week off from all impact activities (including walking) b/c even casual walking causes me pain right now. I'm going to concentrate on abs and weights this week, and then try more activity next week.
I've had to change my workout plan drastically, and I'm hoping I'll still get great results. Starting next week, my plan is:
3 days a week, 5K walk
3 days a week, a workout video that involves weights and cardio or circuit training of some kind
6 days a week, Abs (my big push to do abs is my back pain right now, I'm counting on strengthening those muscles to alleviate some of the pain I'm dealing with 24 hrs a day!)
Last week was a so-so week food wise, and I'm actually surprised I lost so much weight! I was a bit off track as far as my 2 food changes (no eating after 7 and a big salad every day) so this week that's my main focus. Because I have to step back from working out, I'm going to have to be extra careful where food is concerned. I also want to be more consistent with my water intake. I'm generally really good at drinking lots of water, but I've been really sporadic about it lately. So, 10 glasses a day minimum is my plan---and hopefully more since I'm breastfeeding.
We're going away for the weekend, camping in Grand Marais! Should be a super fun time, we're going with two other families for the Wooden Boat Festival. It'll be interesting to see how the kids do camping:) So, I won't be weighing in this week, but my goal is still to lose at least 2 lbs to keep me on track for my 3 week goal (remember, lesson learned---no weigh in doesn't have to mean no weight lost!:).
Have a great week everyone! I'll still post next week to stay accountable!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Week In Review
Ok, some good lessons learned this week that are really going to help me going forward:) I haven't posted an actual weight update in awhile, I'm sorry for that. I was absolutely planning on going to my weigh-in on Saturday, especially because when I stepped on my own scale I was down about 3 pounds! But, we got invited to our wonderful friends' house for breakfast and stayed for 5 hours:)!!! We had a super fun morning with them, and there's no way I'm going to let a number on the scale interfere with my friendships:) The big positive for me was that I found out Friday night that I was going to miss my weigh-in, and I STILL went for a run, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do and it almost killed me! That's a huge step in the right direction for me, a couple weeks before, I would have thought, 'yay! No weigh-in, that means I can eat whatever I want, scrap exercise, and make up for it next week!!!' So I'm happy that I've realized that my WW weigh-ins aren't the only gauges of weight loss, ACTUAL WEIGHT LOSS IS!!! HELLO ME!!! The reason I haven't lost weight for two months is b/c I've been totally focused on my WW weigh-ins, and b/c I've had to miss so many, I just want to make sure I'm ok for when I step on that scale. Lesson #1 LEARNED:)
Lesson #2: Life (especially one with children) calls for compromise and adjustments constantly.
I'm going to do a little run down of what my week SHOULD have, DID, and COULD have looked like:
Should Have:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
Did:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-5k walk, Abs
Wednesday-Rest
Thursday-Run, Weights
Friday-Run
Saturday-Rest
Sunday-Rest
Could Have (if I had just let things happen, not tried to make things work, and only worked out when I really felt like it)
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-rest
Wednesday-rest
Thursday-rest
Friday-rest
Saturday-rest
Sunday-Rest
So, you get the picture:) I was a little disappointed at first looking at the comparison between what it was supposed to look like and actually did, until I really studied my week (which was jam-packed and quite sleep deprived) and realized how well I really did! I'm very encouraged that I ran as many times as I did, and I think even more encouraged that I did it when I really didn't want to. Sheena and I run at about 9pm, just when the full weight of not sleeping much at night and a busy day with lots of kids hits me---so to go three nights was great!
Lesson #3: Nothing is set in stone. Just because I set a goal, doesn't mean I'm a failure if I realize that it's not within my reach and I need to make an adjustment. Such as aiming to run 4 5K's a week---TOO MUCH! I haven't run in a long time, 3 times a week plus one 5k walk in a week is sufficient. Along with some weights and abs thrown in, it's definitely going to move me towards where I want to be!
So, for this week ahead, my 'change' is actually going to be just focusing on the 3 I've already made: No eating after 7 pm, a big salad every day (not necessarily for lunch anymore, just have to get it in!) and solidifying my week of workouts. This is the plan:
Monday-Run, Abs
Tuesday-Walk, Abs, Weights
Wednesday-Run, Abs
Thursday-30 Day Shred
Friday-Run, Abs
Saturday-Abs, Weights
Sunday-Rest
It's all about figuring out what works for me, and how I can reach my goals in a way that fits my lifestyle. We'll see how this schedule goes! I'm looking forward to posting an official weight loss post this coming Saturday, it's been too long! I have a number goal I'm aiming for this week, but I'm going to keep it to myself for now! Have a great week everyone:) (see below for some lovely before pictures;) EDIT--I'm having some technical difficulties, I really do have pictures, they just won't upload! Soon, soon:)
Lesson #2: Life (especially one with children) calls for compromise and adjustments constantly.
I'm going to do a little run down of what my week SHOULD have, DID, and COULD have looked like:
Should Have:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
Did:
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-5k walk, Abs
Wednesday-Rest
Thursday-Run, Weights
Friday-Run
Saturday-Rest
Sunday-Rest
Could Have (if I had just let things happen, not tried to make things work, and only worked out when I really felt like it)
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-rest
Wednesday-rest
Thursday-rest
Friday-rest
Saturday-rest
Sunday-Rest
So, you get the picture:) I was a little disappointed at first looking at the comparison between what it was supposed to look like and actually did, until I really studied my week (which was jam-packed and quite sleep deprived) and realized how well I really did! I'm very encouraged that I ran as many times as I did, and I think even more encouraged that I did it when I really didn't want to. Sheena and I run at about 9pm, just when the full weight of not sleeping much at night and a busy day with lots of kids hits me---so to go three nights was great!
Lesson #3: Nothing is set in stone. Just because I set a goal, doesn't mean I'm a failure if I realize that it's not within my reach and I need to make an adjustment. Such as aiming to run 4 5K's a week---TOO MUCH! I haven't run in a long time, 3 times a week plus one 5k walk in a week is sufficient. Along with some weights and abs thrown in, it's definitely going to move me towards where I want to be!
So, for this week ahead, my 'change' is actually going to be just focusing on the 3 I've already made: No eating after 7 pm, a big salad every day (not necessarily for lunch anymore, just have to get it in!) and solidifying my week of workouts. This is the plan:
Monday-Run, Abs
Tuesday-Walk, Abs, Weights
Wednesday-Run, Abs
Thursday-30 Day Shred
Friday-Run, Abs
Saturday-Abs, Weights
Sunday-Rest
It's all about figuring out what works for me, and how I can reach my goals in a way that fits my lifestyle. We'll see how this schedule goes! I'm looking forward to posting an official weight loss post this coming Saturday, it's been too long! I have a number goal I'm aiming for this week, but I'm going to keep it to myself for now! Have a great week everyone:) (see below for some lovely before pictures;) EDIT--I'm having some technical difficulties, I really do have pictures, they just won't upload! Soon, soon:)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Pictures Coming Soon!!!
This blog has been noticeably picture-less, and I have mentioned a few times the dreaded 'before' picture. Well, I finally took them and it was um, humbling? Horrifying? Well, no not that bad, but definitely motivating:) So those are coming soon---this week, I PROMISE!!! (Like you're dying to see me wearing some workout clothes to really show off what lies ahead:)
I had a FABULOUS week! I ran 3 times, and then chose to do a full 5k walk for my 4th workout, because, well, let's face it--I haven't worked out in over a year (really hard) and it might be a bit much to run 20k my first week:) I've been running with my friend Sheena, and with me sweet iTunes, and it's been awesome! I look forward to going, it's my 'me' time:) Friday night it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do though, and I almost called Sheena to cancel a few times. But that's the beauty of a workout partner...I didn't want to let her down, so we ended up going, and it was a great run! We're both really surprised by how well it's going in the first week, and we're looking forward to seeing our progress!
I'm going to Wpg. in July, and my friend Patti-Ann has offered to run a distance goal with me, so thank you P.A.!!! I now have a definitive date that I want to be trained for that's close enough to be really motivating. We're going to run a 5k.
I want to measure my progress, along with the before pictures and measurements, so here are some stats I'll be updating every month-ish:
Running: About 5 minutes continuously (I know, you're probably thinking, 'What?!? you're impressed by that?!?!?---but we do that with short walks in between for a full 5k...remember, no exercise for over a year:)!!!
Planks: Can hold for 10 seconds
Crunches: 25 without stopping
Push-ups: 10, on knees
As much as I'm excited about losing weight, I'm as equally excited about getting in great shape again! Running has really reminded me what my body is capable of and how strong and healthy I feel when working out!
I ate a big salad every day last week, and still am not eating after 7 pm. My change this week is to have a firm workout schedule.
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
It might be too much for me, so it's going to be my goal and I will make adjustments based on how my body is feeling. One thing I have to remind myself of is that just because the goal is set, it's still ok to change it to avoid over-training and injury:)
And just because I'm so excited about my iTunes (it's amazing how much of a difference having good music makes!), my song pick for this past week was 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce---that song helped me make it up multiple hills:)!
Have a great week everyone!
I had a FABULOUS week! I ran 3 times, and then chose to do a full 5k walk for my 4th workout, because, well, let's face it--I haven't worked out in over a year (really hard) and it might be a bit much to run 20k my first week:) I've been running with my friend Sheena, and with me sweet iTunes, and it's been awesome! I look forward to going, it's my 'me' time:) Friday night it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do though, and I almost called Sheena to cancel a few times. But that's the beauty of a workout partner...I didn't want to let her down, so we ended up going, and it was a great run! We're both really surprised by how well it's going in the first week, and we're looking forward to seeing our progress!
I'm going to Wpg. in July, and my friend Patti-Ann has offered to run a distance goal with me, so thank you P.A.!!! I now have a definitive date that I want to be trained for that's close enough to be really motivating. We're going to run a 5k.
I want to measure my progress, along with the before pictures and measurements, so here are some stats I'll be updating every month-ish:
Running: About 5 minutes continuously (I know, you're probably thinking, 'What?!? you're impressed by that?!?!?---but we do that with short walks in between for a full 5k...remember, no exercise for over a year:)!!!
Planks: Can hold for 10 seconds
Crunches: 25 without stopping
Push-ups: 10, on knees
As much as I'm excited about losing weight, I'm as equally excited about getting in great shape again! Running has really reminded me what my body is capable of and how strong and healthy I feel when working out!
I ate a big salad every day last week, and still am not eating after 7 pm. My change this week is to have a firm workout schedule.
Monday-Run, Weights, Abs
Tuesday-Run, Abs
Wednesday-30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels Circuit Training Video)
Thursday-Run, Abs
Friday-Run, Weights, Abs
Saturday-Walk
Sunday-Rest
It might be too much for me, so it's going to be my goal and I will make adjustments based on how my body is feeling. One thing I have to remind myself of is that just because the goal is set, it's still ok to change it to avoid over-training and injury:)
And just because I'm so excited about my iTunes (it's amazing how much of a difference having good music makes!), my song pick for this past week was 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce---that song helped me make it up multiple hills:)!
Have a great week everyone!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Excited:)!
I'm excited because my sister gave me an iTunes gift card for my birthday, and my ipod is loaded and ready for my run!!! I'm running FOUR times this week, so I'm so happy to have some great music to motivate me and get me on my way!
New habit 1 is sticking, no eating after 7pm. New habit 2 will be implemented this week: A big salad for lunch every day. I'm sure some of you reading this that's so incredibly BORING...but I am a creature of habit and routine, and I almost never get bored. Eating the same thing, at the same time day in and day out is the key to my success! When I look back on losing my weight after Kallie was born, I can probably list about 4 foods that I ate for breakfast and lunch...and it worked! (Actually, it was only ever 1 thing for breakfast--mini wheats--and I ate them for about 3 years straight, just changing it up now:) I am my father's daughter:)
So, a big salad every day for lunch, along with no eating after 7. Lyndon and I are both trying to eat as clean as possible (unprocessed, whole foods) and up our fruit and especially veggie intake. He's doing the salad thing too, so this should help us both reach those goals!:)
Basketball as my background for my ticker---the reason? I miss who I used to be. Gaining all this weight, has taken me away. I know our society often paints this picture of women 'losing themselves' in marriage and motherhood, but for me, I feel like I am the BEST me in both of those roles...wife and mom:) Except, I can't truly be the best me, b/c so many of the things I love to do are gone...because I'm fat. I am an athlete. I was an athlete, and a good one, my whole life. Until 21. And then I gained tons of weight, and I lost that part of myself. It just occurred to me recently, that people who have met me in the last 6 years (that's right, SIX years I have been overweight! Almost all of my twenties...we'll save the reflection for another post!) would never know that I am an athlete. And that makes me sad:( There are many other parts of myself that I've lost because of my weight gain, but for now, basketball will be the symbol and reminder of them...and motivate me to get the 'old me' back!! I'm looking forward to this week and to posting about how it goes!:)
See you in a week-ish!:)
New habit 1 is sticking, no eating after 7pm. New habit 2 will be implemented this week: A big salad for lunch every day. I'm sure some of you reading this that's so incredibly BORING...but I am a creature of habit and routine, and I almost never get bored. Eating the same thing, at the same time day in and day out is the key to my success! When I look back on losing my weight after Kallie was born, I can probably list about 4 foods that I ate for breakfast and lunch...and it worked! (Actually, it was only ever 1 thing for breakfast--mini wheats--and I ate them for about 3 years straight, just changing it up now:) I am my father's daughter:)
So, a big salad every day for lunch, along with no eating after 7. Lyndon and I are both trying to eat as clean as possible (unprocessed, whole foods) and up our fruit and especially veggie intake. He's doing the salad thing too, so this should help us both reach those goals!:)
Basketball as my background for my ticker---the reason? I miss who I used to be. Gaining all this weight, has taken me away. I know our society often paints this picture of women 'losing themselves' in marriage and motherhood, but for me, I feel like I am the BEST me in both of those roles...wife and mom:) Except, I can't truly be the best me, b/c so many of the things I love to do are gone...because I'm fat. I am an athlete. I was an athlete, and a good one, my whole life. Until 21. And then I gained tons of weight, and I lost that part of myself. It just occurred to me recently, that people who have met me in the last 6 years (that's right, SIX years I have been overweight! Almost all of my twenties...we'll save the reflection for another post!) would never know that I am an athlete. And that makes me sad:( There are many other parts of myself that I've lost because of my weight gain, but for now, basketball will be the symbol and reminder of them...and motivate me to get the 'old me' back!! I'm looking forward to this week and to posting about how it goes!:)
See you in a week-ish!:)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Ticker!
So, I've added a ticker to track my weight loss and my BMI as I get healthier and thinner! I'm excited about it---a great visual reminder of progress.
I have to skip weigh-in again this week, boo:( The reason is really good though---we're going to Duluth for May long to visit friends, and we're all really excited! I'm really looking forward to it:)! I'm staying on track though...it's been a great week, no eating after 7pm, and staying on track with food. I went for a run yesterday, and it was awesome! I'm sore today, which makes it even better!
I really hope that I can be more consistent with this blog, I want to be able to look back on this journey and really see how it all came together:) Blogging is not something I'm great at or do often---there are so many other things I choose to do with my spare time (not any better or more productive...just different:). So, I want to do this more....
Visualizing---I'm totally one of those people who sometimes thinks about my life in terms of Facebook statuses, and so I was visualizing my FB status at the end of this year (I did it while I was running--kept me motivated:)!
'Lauren Whitburn Wagenaar has lost...are you ready for this...92.4 pounds this year!!! Yay ME!:)'
That's the plan, that's the goal, and I'm going to do it! My next short-term goal is to lose about 10 lbs by July 1st. Have a great long weekend everyone!
Oh, and I chose basketballs as the background for a specific reason (more than just that it's my fave sport and I used to play in high school and college:) I'll tell you more later (and I actually will this time, I promise:)!
I have to skip weigh-in again this week, boo:( The reason is really good though---we're going to Duluth for May long to visit friends, and we're all really excited! I'm really looking forward to it:)! I'm staying on track though...it's been a great week, no eating after 7pm, and staying on track with food. I went for a run yesterday, and it was awesome! I'm sore today, which makes it even better!
I really hope that I can be more consistent with this blog, I want to be able to look back on this journey and really see how it all came together:) Blogging is not something I'm great at or do often---there are so many other things I choose to do with my spare time (not any better or more productive...just different:). So, I want to do this more....
Visualizing---I'm totally one of those people who sometimes thinks about my life in terms of Facebook statuses, and so I was visualizing my FB status at the end of this year (I did it while I was running--kept me motivated:)!
'Lauren Whitburn Wagenaar has lost...are you ready for this...92.4 pounds this year!!! Yay ME!:)'
That's the plan, that's the goal, and I'm going to do it! My next short-term goal is to lose about 10 lbs by July 1st. Have a great long weekend everyone!
Oh, and I chose basketballs as the background for a specific reason (more than just that it's my fave sport and I used to play in high school and college:) I'll tell you more later (and I actually will this time, I promise:)!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Busy, busy, busy!!!
Well, I absolutely planned on writing another post last week, and then should have also written an update this past weekend, but, like most people we've been BUSY! Last week was more crazy than most though, we were still spring cleaning and renovating (which, btw, STILL isn't done!) and it was Kallie's birthday party on Saturday, so I was running around like crazy until Sat. morning trying to get everything together! Because of all the business, it wasn't the greatest week. It wasn't bad, just not the greatest. The biggest let down was the lack of exercise. I didn't workout once. Not one single time. I actually think that's a first since Judah's been born. There just wasn't any time or energy left at the end of the day. I decided that b/c I love rules and schedules so much, I'm going to do one for exercise. I'm starting an 8 week running program next week (it was supposed to be this week, but I had the stomach flu Sunday-Monday) to get me up to running 30 minutes (roughly 5K) straight. I'm really excited about it! And I'm looking at a couple of different races in Duluth, MN to enter this year...a 5K is July and a 10K in September. I really wanted to run a half-marathon this year, but that'll have to wait until June 2011:)
I feel like I have a new resolve...I did the math and realized, that while yes, I'm down almost 30 lbs in 4 months (not bad, not great) I've actually only lost about 5 in the last 2 months. Yikes! I've known this for awhile in the back of my mind, but just haven't been able to commit. But now, I feel committed. I don't know what changed, I'm just there.
I tend to want to change EVERYTHING (all my bad habits) at once. I make a big plan, do it for, oh, 2.3 seconds, and then stop. Everything. So, my new goal is to change one thing a week. And not major things, just small ones. Ones that I can do, have control over, and feel successful for doing. Even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking, 'ok, really, just one? How about two? Two isn't a big deal...' BUT if I do one a week, in four weeks I'll have changed FOUR things. If I take on any more, in four weeks, I'll have changed ZERO things! SO, for week one, I'm going to:
Stop eating after 7pm. Unless it is a special occasion (look at me back pedaling already;) or completely beyond my control, I will be done my points by 7pm, and there will be no snacking. Monday is my birthday dinner with some friends, and they're arriving between 7:30 -8pm, so that night's already out, but for the rest, it's ON!
I will be accountable and give you an update on my changing habits:)
I feel like I have a new resolve...I did the math and realized, that while yes, I'm down almost 30 lbs in 4 months (not bad, not great) I've actually only lost about 5 in the last 2 months. Yikes! I've known this for awhile in the back of my mind, but just haven't been able to commit. But now, I feel committed. I don't know what changed, I'm just there.
I tend to want to change EVERYTHING (all my bad habits) at once. I make a big plan, do it for, oh, 2.3 seconds, and then stop. Everything. So, my new goal is to change one thing a week. And not major things, just small ones. Ones that I can do, have control over, and feel successful for doing. Even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking, 'ok, really, just one? How about two? Two isn't a big deal...' BUT if I do one a week, in four weeks I'll have changed FOUR things. If I take on any more, in four weeks, I'll have changed ZERO things! SO, for week one, I'm going to:
Stop eating after 7pm. Unless it is a special occasion (look at me back pedaling already;) or completely beyond my control, I will be done my points by 7pm, and there will be no snacking. Monday is my birthday dinner with some friends, and they're arriving between 7:30 -8pm, so that night's already out, but for the rest, it's ON!
I will be accountable and give you an update on my changing habits:)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Good Week!
Well, I don't have long to post, we're still in the midst of our crazy spring cleaning/renovating weekend, and have a lot left to do (even though, yes, it is Sunday night! Our weekend is continuing into the week...:).
I was down 2.8 at yesterday's weigh-in, YAY!!! I had a good week food and exercise wise, and it paid off:)! I am now down 27.6 lbs, and have officially started breaking new ground...no more re-losing already lost weight (for 2010 anyways:) My goal is to lose 2.4 lbs this week to make that number 30!!! I'm off to a great start, this is the first Sunday in probably two months that I haven't used all of my weekly points in this one day, the start of my week. In fact, I didn't use any!!! I am committed to eating clean (more on that later this week), staying within my points, and exercising this week, to make that loss happen!
Gotta run, but I'll post again this week, I had some new developments and breakthroughs food-wise, and I still have to post my before pic! Oh, and I found some old pictures of me in high school and college (when I was thin) and it has caused some interesting reflection as well! More later!
Have a great Monday:)!
Lauren
I was down 2.8 at yesterday's weigh-in, YAY!!! I had a good week food and exercise wise, and it paid off:)! I am now down 27.6 lbs, and have officially started breaking new ground...no more re-losing already lost weight (for 2010 anyways:) My goal is to lose 2.4 lbs this week to make that number 30!!! I'm off to a great start, this is the first Sunday in probably two months that I haven't used all of my weekly points in this one day, the start of my week. In fact, I didn't use any!!! I am committed to eating clean (more on that later this week), staying within my points, and exercising this week, to make that loss happen!
Gotta run, but I'll post again this week, I had some new developments and breakthroughs food-wise, and I still have to post my before pic! Oh, and I found some old pictures of me in high school and college (when I was thin) and it has caused some interesting reflection as well! More later!
Have a great Monday:)!
Lauren
Friday, April 23, 2010
You Win Some, You Lose Some
And this week, I did both.
Bad news first: I had a hard time staying on track food wise. I'm really struggling with my hunger. I don't remember being this hungry when I was breastfeeding Kallie, and it's really tough. Thursday night, I ate WAY too much b/c hunger just overtook me (I had 3 big helpings of pasta casserole, a big salad, about 20 crackers with pb and some pudding), and still, after ALL that food, I was HUNGRY. Not just, meh, I could eat, but wow, I'm starving! That was about 45 minutes after eating everything, and then I just got hungrier and hungrier. I'm not totally sure what to do about it, but I need to figure something out!
Good news (the wins!): I started running this week! It was only once, but it was awesome! I've missed running so much! I had convinced myself that I was too fat to run, and was going to wait another 10-15 lbs to start. But then, a good song came on my ipod (I was doing my 5K walk) and I just started running! It's insane how painful and pathetic it was, but I did it, and I'm excited to keep doing it!
My other win, is that I'm becoming much more thoughtful about strategy and issues that are holding me back from where I want to be. I had a great talk with my friend Kat (who lost about 70 lbs a few years ago and has maintained a healthy weight since then!) about recognizing my weaknesses and making a plan to overcome them. Lyndon and I have an evening of laundry folding and talking planned, and since I'll definitely need him on board for my new strategy to work, I'll give you a more detailed recap next week.
I'm not going to my weigh-in tomorrow b/c I have a church conference all morning (which I'm so pumped for, it's Beth Moore!!!), but next week I'll definitely be going!
One big lesson I learned this week, no matter how long it takes me, as long as I don't stop, I WILL GET THERE!!! If I give up now, I'm guaranteed to fail, but if I just keep on keepin' on', eventually, I have to lose all this weight! So that's what I'm going to do...JUST KEEP ON GOING!:)
Bad news first: I had a hard time staying on track food wise. I'm really struggling with my hunger. I don't remember being this hungry when I was breastfeeding Kallie, and it's really tough. Thursday night, I ate WAY too much b/c hunger just overtook me (I had 3 big helpings of pasta casserole, a big salad, about 20 crackers with pb and some pudding), and still, after ALL that food, I was HUNGRY. Not just, meh, I could eat, but wow, I'm starving! That was about 45 minutes after eating everything, and then I just got hungrier and hungrier. I'm not totally sure what to do about it, but I need to figure something out!
Good news (the wins!): I started running this week! It was only once, but it was awesome! I've missed running so much! I had convinced myself that I was too fat to run, and was going to wait another 10-15 lbs to start. But then, a good song came on my ipod (I was doing my 5K walk) and I just started running! It's insane how painful and pathetic it was, but I did it, and I'm excited to keep doing it!
My other win, is that I'm becoming much more thoughtful about strategy and issues that are holding me back from where I want to be. I had a great talk with my friend Kat (who lost about 70 lbs a few years ago and has maintained a healthy weight since then!) about recognizing my weaknesses and making a plan to overcome them. Lyndon and I have an evening of laundry folding and talking planned, and since I'll definitely need him on board for my new strategy to work, I'll give you a more detailed recap next week.
I'm not going to my weigh-in tomorrow b/c I have a church conference all morning (which I'm so pumped for, it's Beth Moore!!!), but next week I'll definitely be going!
One big lesson I learned this week, no matter how long it takes me, as long as I don't stop, I WILL GET THERE!!! If I give up now, I'm guaranteed to fail, but if I just keep on keepin' on', eventually, I have to lose all this weight! So that's what I'm going to do...JUST KEEP ON GOING!:)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
SUCCESS!!!
This was a successful week, for 3 reasons:
1. I lost 2.6 lbs. Another 1.4 to go and I'll be back where I was. I know I can accomplish that this upcoming week, and after that, hello progress-ville:)! I've missed you---I have trouble with my mindset when I'm 're-losing' weight, so I'm looking forward to getting to a lower weight again so I can be losing 'new' weight:)
2. I almost blew it yesterday, but recovered and did something I've never done before...started eating better in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!! I'm definitely a 'wait till Monday' kinda gal, but this time, it was minutes and I was back on track! I made the mistake of making hummus the day before (roasted red pepper, mmmmmm:) because I have a hard time controlling myself where homemade hummus is concerned. Now, I know that hummus is a healthy snack, but it still has calories and quite a bit of olive oil in it, so it can't be overeaten without consequences. I was super stressed on Friday b/c Judah had had a terrible night and was now having a very difficult day of napping, so my go to: FOOD! While the kids were snacking, I demolished probably a full cup of hummus with crackers. And then thought I'd top it off with a cup of frozen yoghurt (roughly...I was eating straight from the container;). Now, I could've blown it at this point. BUT I didn't! Victory! Thankfully, b/c I'm breastfeeding, am tall, and have a lot of weight to lose, I get a lot of points each day. So I added up the damage and planned out the rest of my day: Asparagus soup w/10 whole wheat crackers for lunch and 3 eggs scrambled with a big salad and 1 tbsp. of dressing for supper. Oh, and an orange for a snack. It was a bit tough to not eat anything else all day, but not as bad as I thought it'd be. I find that breastfeeding makes me hungry all of the time (even when I eat a full meal, I'm still hungry) so that was the hardest part. It was so worth it though, when I stepped on the scale this morning:)!
3. I exercised this week. It's been way too long, and it felt great to get back into it! I went for 3 'workout walks' (I walked more than that, but I'd only classify 3 as workouts), lifted weights twice, and did abs every day!
My goals for next week: -4 workout walks -3 days of weights -abs every day -try not to use all of my weekly flex points
-drink lots of water every day
I still haven't taken my before pictures, I have to do that before it's not really a 'before':) That's another goal: next week, before pictures posted:)!
Have a great week everyone!
1. I lost 2.6 lbs. Another 1.4 to go and I'll be back where I was. I know I can accomplish that this upcoming week, and after that, hello progress-ville:)! I've missed you---I have trouble with my mindset when I'm 're-losing' weight, so I'm looking forward to getting to a lower weight again so I can be losing 'new' weight:)
2. I almost blew it yesterday, but recovered and did something I've never done before...started eating better in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!! I'm definitely a 'wait till Monday' kinda gal, but this time, it was minutes and I was back on track! I made the mistake of making hummus the day before (roasted red pepper, mmmmmm:) because I have a hard time controlling myself where homemade hummus is concerned. Now, I know that hummus is a healthy snack, but it still has calories and quite a bit of olive oil in it, so it can't be overeaten without consequences. I was super stressed on Friday b/c Judah had had a terrible night and was now having a very difficult day of napping, so my go to: FOOD! While the kids were snacking, I demolished probably a full cup of hummus with crackers. And then thought I'd top it off with a cup of frozen yoghurt (roughly...I was eating straight from the container;). Now, I could've blown it at this point. BUT I didn't! Victory! Thankfully, b/c I'm breastfeeding, am tall, and have a lot of weight to lose, I get a lot of points each day. So I added up the damage and planned out the rest of my day: Asparagus soup w/10 whole wheat crackers for lunch and 3 eggs scrambled with a big salad and 1 tbsp. of dressing for supper. Oh, and an orange for a snack. It was a bit tough to not eat anything else all day, but not as bad as I thought it'd be. I find that breastfeeding makes me hungry all of the time (even when I eat a full meal, I'm still hungry) so that was the hardest part. It was so worth it though, when I stepped on the scale this morning:)!
3. I exercised this week. It's been way too long, and it felt great to get back into it! I went for 3 'workout walks' (I walked more than that, but I'd only classify 3 as workouts), lifted weights twice, and did abs every day!
My goals for next week: -4 workout walks -3 days of weights -abs every day -try not to use all of my weekly flex points
-drink lots of water every day
I still haven't taken my before pictures, I have to do that before it's not really a 'before':) That's another goal: next week, before pictures posted:)!
Have a great week everyone!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I'm Sick of Being Fat!!!
My close family and friends always cringe when I call myself fat. And they follow it with, 'Laur, you're not FAT.' And my response is always the same. 'yes, I am. I am FAT'. I started with over 90 pounds to lose. That's not plump, chubby, heavy, or overweight. It's FAT! I know it sounds terrible and that our society has such a stigma attached to the word, but honestly, that's what I am and that's how I feel. Whenever I'm around other people, I am hyper-aware that I'm fat, and feel like people look at/judge/treat me accordingly. Like last night, when I went out for drinks with a couple of girlfriends, and the waitress asked if we wanted dessert, and I thought, 'she's probably thinking, you definitely don't need dessert, but I guess that's how you got so big.' Ridiculous, I know. I'm not the centre of other people's universes, but that's how I feel where my weight is concerned. LIke that's all people can focus on or think about once they see me. When I'm going for walks around the lake, I think everyone who passes me is sizing me up and thinking about how huge I am. When we bought our new jogging stroller/chariot last weekend at a running/biking store in Wpg., all I could focus on was how the super fit staff must be looking at me and wondering why on earth I would need a jogging stroller, I obviously don't work out. And so, I'm sick of it. Sick of the thinking and sick of the FAAAAAAAT!!! I am a huge fan of counseling and self-awareness, so don't worry, I know the fact that I think this way about myself is a much bigger issue than the actual fat I have to lose. So I'm working on that too. But for right now, I'm just sick of being fat, and I'm doing something about it! I'm going to be thin THIS YEAR!!! It's been a long time since I've been fit and thin, and I'm looking forward to it.
I am only down 3 lbs from my 7 lb gain, but that's ok. I lost those three pounds while we were on a trip (which involved multiple meals out, including my sister's bday dinner at Olive Garden...mmmmm goodness:) and over the Easter weekend. I didn't go crazy on food, I just ate normally, didn't restrict much, and still lost the 3 lbs. I'm happy with it because I did it while living/eating moderately, instead of all or nothing.
While I was in Wpg. I took my measurements with my friend Mandi, and wow, that was painful and humbling. Numbers DO NOT LIE. We didn't get a chance to do my before pictures, so for now I'll leave you with the very ugly truth in numbers alone, and I'll get my before pictures posted soon.
Starting Weight (in January): 252.4 lbs
Measurements (April 3)
Waist: 43.5
Hips: 46.5
Chest: 44
R. Thigh: 29.5 (for the record, bigger than my waist size when I'm at a healthy weight...YIKES!)
R. Arm: 14.5
It was SO difficult for me to write those numbers, but I had to do. I have so much shame associate with my weight and size, I am so ashamed of how big I've allowed myself to become, and I need to face those numbers and have them out in the open so that they are not shameful any more. I will not be ashamed, I will be proud that I have a problem and am taking the steps to fix it!!! I'll keep telling myself that---right now, I just feel shame, but I'm working on it!
I am only down 3 lbs from my 7 lb gain, but that's ok. I lost those three pounds while we were on a trip (which involved multiple meals out, including my sister's bday dinner at Olive Garden...mmmmm goodness:) and over the Easter weekend. I didn't go crazy on food, I just ate normally, didn't restrict much, and still lost the 3 lbs. I'm happy with it because I did it while living/eating moderately, instead of all or nothing.
While I was in Wpg. I took my measurements with my friend Mandi, and wow, that was painful and humbling. Numbers DO NOT LIE. We didn't get a chance to do my before pictures, so for now I'll leave you with the very ugly truth in numbers alone, and I'll get my before pictures posted soon.
Starting Weight (in January): 252.4 lbs
Measurements (April 3)
Waist: 43.5
Hips: 46.5
Chest: 44
R. Thigh: 29.5 (for the record, bigger than my waist size when I'm at a healthy weight...YIKES!)
R. Arm: 14.5
It was SO difficult for me to write those numbers, but I had to do. I have so much shame associate with my weight and size, I am so ashamed of how big I've allowed myself to become, and I need to face those numbers and have them out in the open so that they are not shameful any more. I will not be ashamed, I will be proud that I have a problem and am taking the steps to fix it!!! I'll keep telling myself that---right now, I just feel shame, but I'm working on it!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Starting Over
I. Am. Sucking. It. Up! I don't know why. I'm not sure what's going on, I'm just totally tanking! I skipped weigh-in again on Saturday, but then yesterday decided to own up to my bad habits, and went to WI. And...a stupid SEVEN pound gain! Yikes! It was the wake-up call and accountability that I needed! Today is a new day, and I'm starting over. I'm not ignoring the now only 20 lbs I've lost, but mentally I'm starting fresh! I watched the Biggest Loser last night, and it was very inspiring! I don't watch it regularly, but the girl who got kicked off last night (don't know her name) really inspired me! They showed her after leaving the ranch, and she had lost over 90 lbs, pretty much my total goal! She looked AMAZING! And if she can do it, then so can I! Enough is enough!
Like I said, I'm all or nothing. I'm working on the moderation, but it is really tough to change 26 years of thinking a certain way! So as I'm working on that, I've made a decision. For the past few weeks, picking between all or nothing, I've chosen NOTHING! So now, I'm choosing ALL! I'm all in. I'm going to eat as perfectly as I can. And workout as much as I can. The 'as I can' is key, b/c neither will be perfect, but I'm putting ALL my effort in going forward, and I know I will see the results. My goal is to have these 7 lbs off by Saturday April 10th, the next weigh-in I'll be here for. And then I can keep moving forward!
I'm going to get my friend Mandi, who is an extremely talented photographer, to take some before pictures of me. Along with posting those, I'll post my measurements, and *gasp* my starting weight:)!
I'm not going to let Easter deter me! My next post will be after Easter, and I promise, no more lame, 'I'm not succeeding' posts (well, not that there won't EVER be ones like that, 90 lbs is a long journey, but not for awhile!):)
Have a wonderful Easter! I hope your holidays are filled with family and friends:)!!!
Like I said, I'm all or nothing. I'm working on the moderation, but it is really tough to change 26 years of thinking a certain way! So as I'm working on that, I've made a decision. For the past few weeks, picking between all or nothing, I've chosen NOTHING! So now, I'm choosing ALL! I'm all in. I'm going to eat as perfectly as I can. And workout as much as I can. The 'as I can' is key, b/c neither will be perfect, but I'm putting ALL my effort in going forward, and I know I will see the results. My goal is to have these 7 lbs off by Saturday April 10th, the next weigh-in I'll be here for. And then I can keep moving forward!
I'm going to get my friend Mandi, who is an extremely talented photographer, to take some before pictures of me. Along with posting those, I'll post my measurements, and *gasp* my starting weight:)!
I'm not going to let Easter deter me! My next post will be after Easter, and I promise, no more lame, 'I'm not succeeding' posts (well, not that there won't EVER be ones like that, 90 lbs is a long journey, but not for awhile!):)
Have a wonderful Easter! I hope your holidays are filled with family and friends:)!!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Motivation
I skipped my weigh-in this past Saturday. Reason: I know I didn't lose, and may have even gained. But the reason for that, at least, was a good one. I have been eating less points (points are how weight watchers measures units of food) than I probably should be, and so far, it's been ok. But a couple of weeks ago, Judah started nursing constantly. I just figured it was a growth spurt, but then it lasted about 10 days and I was noticing that he was only swallowing for the first 3-4 minutes of nursing and then he got less and less milk. I realized my milk supply was dropping. So I started nursing both sides, which worked for a bit, but then that wasn't enough either. So, at the end of last week I decided to increase my calories significantly. Of course, being me, I may have over-indulged a little too much, but only for a couple of days. And it worked, my milk supply is back up to where it should be. The plan was to get back on track this week, just adding more points each day so I would have more milk and be losing weight more slowly. BUT...I haven't been able to motivate myself to get back on track seriously. I'm not being ridiculous or eating really poorly, I'm just eating a bit too much each day, so I'm not losing. And I've stopped exercising. SOOOOOOOOOOO.....this post is my motivation post. My reminder of WHY I'm doing this and WHY it's important to do it EVERY DAY!!! In my weight watchers tracking book there is a quote I absolutely love, 'Success is the result of small efforts made each day'. I have to remind myself that even though taking 1 day off won't make a difference in December, taking 1 day off 5 days a week certainly will:)
One of the booklets from WW is about motivation, and a suggestion in there was to make a list of all the reasons you're losing weight. This is mine:
1. My health: live longer, no liver problems, no back, muscle or joint pain.
2. To feel great about myself and comfortable in my own skin.
3. To set a positive, healthy example for my children
4. To have more energy and be able to do/accomplish all the things I want to.
5. To be able to try new activities confidently and have fun doing them.
6. I want to build a great wardrobe & look and feel fabulous in my clothes
7. I want Lyndon, my kids and our families to be proud of me (in this aspect of my life).
8. I want to look good.
9. I want to be in pictures with my family. Because I hate the way I look, I very rarely let anyone take my picture. I won't have any pictures with my kids to look back at when I'm older:(
10. I want activity and exercise to become a normal, daily part of our life, and I want to be able to push my body and find out what it's really capable of doing.
I also haven't really set definitive goals yet, and I'm a huge goal setter/accomplisher...so I should really do that:)
1. Be at my goal weight by the end of December 2010
2. Run at least one 5K and 10K race in 2010
3. Run a half marathon. I'm hoping to be able to do it in 2010, but I realize with my fitness level, schedule and a new baby this year, it might not be possible. So if it doesn't happen in 2010, it will in 2011!
And my mini-goals as I go are 10 lb increment losses, this makes the big picture seem less overwhelming. I've decided to give myself rewards for each 10 lb loss...
30 lbs--A trip to the spa to get gel nails
40 lbs--A facial mask and hydrating lotion
50 lbs--Facial (my girlfriend gave me a facial gift certificate as a 'baby' gift for having Judah and I just can't wait to use it!)
60 lbs--Board game Taboo
70 lbs--A TREADMILL!!! This will definitely depend on finances come this fall, but it's something both Lyndon and I want to invest in and I know will get a lot of use in the winter time!
80 lbs--Board game Scattegories
90 lbs--A NEW WARDROBE!!!
I have a time frame loosely outlined for when I want to hit each loss, but I won't bore you with that much detail:)
So there you have it, my motivation and goals! Writing this all out has been a HUGE help already, I'm so pumped right now!!! I'm staying within my points today and I'm definitely going for a 5K walk tonight. And I have to mention, I'm so thankful for my supportive husband who will encourage me to get out of the house and walk, while he cleans up dinner and plays with the kids:)
Have a great day everyone!:)
One of the booklets from WW is about motivation, and a suggestion in there was to make a list of all the reasons you're losing weight. This is mine:
1. My health: live longer, no liver problems, no back, muscle or joint pain.
2. To feel great about myself and comfortable in my own skin.
3. To set a positive, healthy example for my children
4. To have more energy and be able to do/accomplish all the things I want to.
5. To be able to try new activities confidently and have fun doing them.
6. I want to build a great wardrobe & look and feel fabulous in my clothes
7. I want Lyndon, my kids and our families to be proud of me (in this aspect of my life).
8. I want to look good.
9. I want to be in pictures with my family. Because I hate the way I look, I very rarely let anyone take my picture. I won't have any pictures with my kids to look back at when I'm older:(
10. I want activity and exercise to become a normal, daily part of our life, and I want to be able to push my body and find out what it's really capable of doing.
I also haven't really set definitive goals yet, and I'm a huge goal setter/accomplisher...so I should really do that:)
1. Be at my goal weight by the end of December 2010
2. Run at least one 5K and 10K race in 2010
3. Run a half marathon. I'm hoping to be able to do it in 2010, but I realize with my fitness level, schedule and a new baby this year, it might not be possible. So if it doesn't happen in 2010, it will in 2011!
And my mini-goals as I go are 10 lb increment losses, this makes the big picture seem less overwhelming. I've decided to give myself rewards for each 10 lb loss...
30 lbs--A trip to the spa to get gel nails
40 lbs--A facial mask and hydrating lotion
50 lbs--Facial (my girlfriend gave me a facial gift certificate as a 'baby' gift for having Judah and I just can't wait to use it!)
60 lbs--Board game Taboo
70 lbs--A TREADMILL!!! This will definitely depend on finances come this fall, but it's something both Lyndon and I want to invest in and I know will get a lot of use in the winter time!
80 lbs--Board game Scattegories
90 lbs--A NEW WARDROBE!!!
I have a time frame loosely outlined for when I want to hit each loss, but I won't bore you with that much detail:)
So there you have it, my motivation and goals! Writing this all out has been a HUGE help already, I'm so pumped right now!!! I'm staying within my points today and I'm definitely going for a 5K walk tonight. And I have to mention, I'm so thankful for my supportive husband who will encourage me to get out of the house and walk, while he cleans up dinner and plays with the kids:)
Have a great day everyone!:)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
And So It Begins
My goal this year is to lose all of my pregnancy weight plus 40 lbs, to finally be back down to a healthy weight. This blog is going to track the journey for me, and hopefully if it's not too boring, you'll be able to stop by every once in a while and have a peek at how I'm doing. And if you're feeling so inclined, maybe offer a bit of encouragement or advice:) Please bear with me through this post as I try to sort through my thoughts on how and why I gained so much weight, and what my plan for the future is.
Last year, my friend Mandi and I embarked upon a 6 month weight loss journey and decided to blog about it. Two months in, I had a bit of a 'bump' in the road though...I got pregnant:) It was definitely something Lyndon and I wanted, we just weren't expecting that it would happen so quickly! I thought I'd have a few more months to keep losing, but after 2 months and 15 lbs gone...the scale started steadily increasing. My goal was to maintain my weight or even lose during my pregnancy (healthily...I still had 40 more pounds to lose, so it was safe), but sadly, that wasn't the case. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! I gained a whopping (are you ready for this) EIGHTY POUNDS during my pregnancy with Judah! I felt awful my entire pregnancy, struggled with depression and exhaustion for almost the whole nine months, and it led me to eat and eat, not exercise, and not care at all how much I was gaining. Actually, that's not true. I did care, and it made me even more depressed, I was just too exhausted and depressed to do anything about it. I fully believe in taking responsibility for one's actions, and I do, it was 100% my fault. But honestly, I'm scared about my next pregnancy, because when I got pregnant this time, I was motivated. I was exercising 5-6 days a week, eating extremely healthy, and still I totally fell apart. And I don't know what I could have done to change things. The obvious answer is 'don't eat family sized bags of doritos in one day and lay on the couch from 5pm on', but what I don't know how to do differently, is not do those things. I become a completely different person when I'm pregnant. Near the end, my friends, family, and even myself really believed that this was just the way I am. Lazy, perpetually exhausted, no drive, no desire to be organized or productive. But since Judah's been born, I'm a MACHINE!!:) And proud of it! I started Weight Watchers when he was 2 1/2 weeks old, started exercise 4 weeks post-partum, am doing daycare full time (started 2 1/2 weeks post-partum), my house is tidy, meals are made, laundry is always done...I'm extremely productive! So, my plan right now is to not think about what could possibly happen with the next pregnancy (if there is one, Lord willing), but just focus on now. Today. And that is where the title of my blog comes from. I am constantly focusing on the far off future, I always imagine results so far away, and then don't focus on making the changes TODAY that will get me there. So, instead of reaching for a far-off perfection, I'm going to make me a better me today, and aim for progress, not perfection (thanks Laura!).
This blog is mostly going to be about weight loss, as that is my biggest self-improvement journey right now. But I'll probably be blogging about other stuff as well, just because weight loss seems to be worked into all parts of life. My friend Laura started a blog that is pretty much the same thing, so Laura...I'm copying you:) I hear that's the sincerest form of flattery:p
I have gained/lost/gained weight so many times, and I truly want and need to make this a life change. These changes need to be permanent, and spill over into all parts of my life. The idea of aiming for progress instead of perfection is my plan to do that. I am a perfectionist. I am all or nothing. In the past, I would never just go for a walk to workout. Never. What a waste of energy. If I can't do 60 minutes of hardcore cardio and weights, then what's the point? I would also never eat something like a donut in the middle of the day, and then continue eating healthy for the remainder. Never. The day is shot, it's not perfect, so I might as well cram as much junk in today as I can, and start over tomorrow. Problem with that thinking? A new mom doesn't really have the energy to do hardcore 60 minute workouts every day, so the alternative is NOTHING. And since I'm NOT perfect, and I sometimes would even have a donut (for example) 3 days in a row, the result is 3 solid days of binge eating complete junk. Bottom line, if I'm not losing, I'm gaining. I'm never maintaining. Which really, is the ultimate goal.
So now, I'm working on moderation. To be thoughtful each day about what I eat and why, and to get exercise through all different activities. And I'm happy to say, that so far, it's been working. I was working out pretty intensely for a while, but sleep deprivation is catching up to me, and I just can't keep it up. So for now, I'm walking. We live beside Boulevard Lake, a man-made lake with a 5K path around it. My goal is to walk it 3-4 times a week. So far I'm finding that I love my walking time, it's 'me time' and I either get to be alone with my thoughts or enjoy the company of a friend. I've been following weight watchers, and it's been working as well. Since starting in January, I'm down 26 pounds. I'm really happy with that, but have to keep reminding myself to focus on the small goals, because as much as 26 is, the 66 I still have to go (that's right, I started with 92 lbs to lose, yikes!) is a whole lot more!
I'm giving myself the entire year to get this weight off. My plan is by Judah's 1st birthday to be down to my goal weight. I'm going to reveal that a little later on, when I'm a bit lighter, and when you do the math to realize how much I weighed at the beginning of this journey, I'll at least weigh a lot less than that:)
One of my biggest motivating factors right now, is my health. I developed a fatty liver with all of my pregnancy weight gain, which is affecting my health. A poor diet (high fat, high sodium, processed food, etc.) has the same effect on the liver as the over-consumption of alcohol. If I don't get this fixed soon, and for good, I could really do a lot of damage.
Thanks for reading this first entry, I know I can be really wordy...I'm going to try and keep it under control as I blog this year. And thanks for your encouragement and support, I've specifically invited you to read this blog because you're a good friend, someone I admire, and would love to have supporting me along the way! And so (again) it begins:)
January 4, 2010: Start Weight-*UGH*
March 13, 2010: Down 26.4 lbs
Last year, my friend Mandi and I embarked upon a 6 month weight loss journey and decided to blog about it. Two months in, I had a bit of a 'bump' in the road though...I got pregnant:) It was definitely something Lyndon and I wanted, we just weren't expecting that it would happen so quickly! I thought I'd have a few more months to keep losing, but after 2 months and 15 lbs gone...the scale started steadily increasing. My goal was to maintain my weight or even lose during my pregnancy (healthily...I still had 40 more pounds to lose, so it was safe), but sadly, that wasn't the case. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! I gained a whopping (are you ready for this) EIGHTY POUNDS during my pregnancy with Judah! I felt awful my entire pregnancy, struggled with depression and exhaustion for almost the whole nine months, and it led me to eat and eat, not exercise, and not care at all how much I was gaining. Actually, that's not true. I did care, and it made me even more depressed, I was just too exhausted and depressed to do anything about it. I fully believe in taking responsibility for one's actions, and I do, it was 100% my fault. But honestly, I'm scared about my next pregnancy, because when I got pregnant this time, I was motivated. I was exercising 5-6 days a week, eating extremely healthy, and still I totally fell apart. And I don't know what I could have done to change things. The obvious answer is 'don't eat family sized bags of doritos in one day and lay on the couch from 5pm on', but what I don't know how to do differently, is not do those things. I become a completely different person when I'm pregnant. Near the end, my friends, family, and even myself really believed that this was just the way I am. Lazy, perpetually exhausted, no drive, no desire to be organized or productive. But since Judah's been born, I'm a MACHINE!!:) And proud of it! I started Weight Watchers when he was 2 1/2 weeks old, started exercise 4 weeks post-partum, am doing daycare full time (started 2 1/2 weeks post-partum), my house is tidy, meals are made, laundry is always done...I'm extremely productive! So, my plan right now is to not think about what could possibly happen with the next pregnancy (if there is one, Lord willing), but just focus on now. Today. And that is where the title of my blog comes from. I am constantly focusing on the far off future, I always imagine results so far away, and then don't focus on making the changes TODAY that will get me there. So, instead of reaching for a far-off perfection, I'm going to make me a better me today, and aim for progress, not perfection (thanks Laura!).
This blog is mostly going to be about weight loss, as that is my biggest self-improvement journey right now. But I'll probably be blogging about other stuff as well, just because weight loss seems to be worked into all parts of life. My friend Laura started a blog that is pretty much the same thing, so Laura...I'm copying you:) I hear that's the sincerest form of flattery:p
I have gained/lost/gained weight so many times, and I truly want and need to make this a life change. These changes need to be permanent, and spill over into all parts of my life. The idea of aiming for progress instead of perfection is my plan to do that. I am a perfectionist. I am all or nothing. In the past, I would never just go for a walk to workout. Never. What a waste of energy. If I can't do 60 minutes of hardcore cardio and weights, then what's the point? I would also never eat something like a donut in the middle of the day, and then continue eating healthy for the remainder. Never. The day is shot, it's not perfect, so I might as well cram as much junk in today as I can, and start over tomorrow. Problem with that thinking? A new mom doesn't really have the energy to do hardcore 60 minute workouts every day, so the alternative is NOTHING. And since I'm NOT perfect, and I sometimes would even have a donut (for example) 3 days in a row, the result is 3 solid days of binge eating complete junk. Bottom line, if I'm not losing, I'm gaining. I'm never maintaining. Which really, is the ultimate goal.
So now, I'm working on moderation. To be thoughtful each day about what I eat and why, and to get exercise through all different activities. And I'm happy to say, that so far, it's been working. I was working out pretty intensely for a while, but sleep deprivation is catching up to me, and I just can't keep it up. So for now, I'm walking. We live beside Boulevard Lake, a man-made lake with a 5K path around it. My goal is to walk it 3-4 times a week. So far I'm finding that I love my walking time, it's 'me time' and I either get to be alone with my thoughts or enjoy the company of a friend. I've been following weight watchers, and it's been working as well. Since starting in January, I'm down 26 pounds. I'm really happy with that, but have to keep reminding myself to focus on the small goals, because as much as 26 is, the 66 I still have to go (that's right, I started with 92 lbs to lose, yikes!) is a whole lot more!
I'm giving myself the entire year to get this weight off. My plan is by Judah's 1st birthday to be down to my goal weight. I'm going to reveal that a little later on, when I'm a bit lighter, and when you do the math to realize how much I weighed at the beginning of this journey, I'll at least weigh a lot less than that:)
One of my biggest motivating factors right now, is my health. I developed a fatty liver with all of my pregnancy weight gain, which is affecting my health. A poor diet (high fat, high sodium, processed food, etc.) has the same effect on the liver as the over-consumption of alcohol. If I don't get this fixed soon, and for good, I could really do a lot of damage.
Thanks for reading this first entry, I know I can be really wordy...I'm going to try and keep it under control as I blog this year. And thanks for your encouragement and support, I've specifically invited you to read this blog because you're a good friend, someone I admire, and would love to have supporting me along the way! And so (again) it begins:)
January 4, 2010: Start Weight-*UGH*
March 13, 2010: Down 26.4 lbs
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